Hello, blog!
I had an assignment to share some information in report text. The aim of the report is to explain the point of view of my friends in my school about some topics. I've choose 2 topics, as you can read on the title the topics are education and lifestyle.
Why did I wrote the title 'Education or Lifestyle'? Cause I'm curious how big is their interest in education and how big is their interest in lifestyle.
EDUCATION
So, 80% said that the educational system in Indonesia is doing better from year to year. But, 20% said that there's something that needed to be fixed. Even they said that the educational system is doing better, but still 60% of my friends is more interested in study abroad than studying here in Indonesia. And also all of my friends are giving some advice to improve Indonesia's educational system.
The advices are:
-Giving a free school for unlucky people
-Keeping up the motivation
-Building schools in isolated area
-More concern in every school
-Improve the system
LIFESTYLE
After I asked them about education, I also asked them about lifestyle. It's about shopping. 80% of them like shopping, but they shop for some reasons. 2 of my friends said that they shop if they want something, 2 of my friends said if they have much money, and 1 of my friend said if she has much time. They spent money depends on what they buy.
So, education or lifestyle? Both is better. :)
Nadhira Nur Aqila
XB/27
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First I want to comment about the format of your post. It's a little bit difficult to read your post, because the font is too small for me.
ReplyDeleteI also confuse about your title, if I read the title, it's sounds like you want to compare the topics.
You also not mentioning how many students you have interviewed, you just mention the percents of it. And it's a little bit not accurate if you just tell the percent.
And I don't get the reason actually. Example, 80% said education of Indonesia is doing better year to year, why? You should explain that, so the readers get the reasons of the report. But, it's good when you tell the advices too.
For the conclusion, I think you should add more sentences to complete it. I don't get it. For education, it can be seen from the 80% who said the education of Indonesia is better year to year. But from lifestyle? You should tell why it was said better.
Your grammar is good, but sometimes I found some little mistakes. If you want to say as a past or present, you just focus on what you want to, past/present. Maybe you should read it first before you post it, later.
And the movement from the general topic to the specific is good.
Actually, your report is good:) Sorry, about my grammar.
-Andi Adelia P. S. XB